when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
