Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
