There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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