No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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