Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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