My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
