I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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