Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
