consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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