I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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