fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
