Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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