How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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