Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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