a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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