I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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