wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
