Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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