I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
