Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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