eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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