Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
