I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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