its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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