my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
