youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
