Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
