She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
