We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
