I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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