idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Non-Jews are for practice
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
