question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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