I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
