you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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