I hate your face
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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