I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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