Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
