He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
