I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize