There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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