I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
