I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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