evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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