Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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