Jerry, you need to find god
thus making me awesome and them whores
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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