I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize