I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
