I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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