also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
