of course. lets lasso hookers.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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