My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize