Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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