i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Panties = found
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