I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
