is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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