he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Randomize