Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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