You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize