Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
