Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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