The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
this hospital has no fireball
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
