Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
