I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
