Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
