apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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