Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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