I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
