bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
