this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
